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Moving vans and making friends

So, one of my bestie’s moving van comes today. It’s really real. She’s going to move to the opposite side of the country. I know with facebook and blogging and everything, we’ll be able to keep up with each other, but it just won’t be the same as having a friend down the street to call and invite to an impromptu playdate or walk in the park, or please bring us some sprite and crackers and leave it on the door because all of us are so sick. I am going to miss her so much.
One of the good things to come out of this is I can really see how kind and empathetic my children are. I was crying after church yesterday and my sweet girl made me a “smiley face snack, so I could smile again” and brought me flowers. Sweet baby boy said ” Why crying, Mama? I Love You.” He hasn’t said that since he was 11 months old. Heart melting.
How does all this relate to being a mom with ADHD? If you’re reading this, you know that we have a harder time than most making friends and keeping them. I want to write down a few helpful hints, to help you, dear reader, and remind myself.

1.  Give gifts. This is pretty self explanatory. You totally don’t have to spend money. Gifts of your time and talent count too.

2. Have rituals.  This could be as simple as meeting at the farmer’s market every week. Structure and regularity are good for everyone.

3.  Remember things. Their birthdays, their kid’s birthdays, kid’s allergies, you get the idea. Everyone likes to feel important enough to be paid attention to. Which brings me to my final point;

4. Pay attention. I know this is hard. Medication can help. It is so important to any relationship, that it’s worth stating even though it seems obvious.

This is by no means exhaustive, but it’s a good start.

What are some ways you find useful to make friends?


top 10 list of why it’s great to be an ADD mom

1. I’m more creative than most. Most ADDer’s are.

2. I have extremely high energy levels and endurance.  (comes in handy with my high energy children.)

3. I have amazing coping skills.

4. I have a great sense of empathy. My kids seem to naturally have this too.

5.  ADD mommies are great at coming up with something fun to do.

6. ADD mommies can multitask like no one else can. (double-edged sword here)

7.  Your ADD kids will have the best, most interesting ideas and questions.  You’ll have the best ideas on how to explore them.

8.  You will eventually realize that you are not perfect, not supermom. But that’s okay, because you were uniquely created to parent your child. You are what she needs.

9. This realization will eventually lead you closer to God, as you understand Him.

10.  ADD moms have an absolutely amazing amount of persistence and determination.